The getting back


If you fall behind, run faster. Never give up, never surrender, instead get together with great people and rise up against the odds.

The sweat is dropping down from my forehead and the arms. I’m overexcited. The endorphins are pumping out in every vein I have. I appreciate cycling more than ever before. The feeling of being able to push everything you can, and to do it without pain is just phenomenal. My mood is just on top and I am exploding with energy and at the same time my legs feels so dead. Biking used to be one of the most boring things I knew, especially to sit indoors on a spinning bike. Now it’s as great for me as the best king has in a heavenly organized kingdom. I’m so glad that the armbike, swimming and the ski-trainer are all history. I think about the progress I have made and I am so proud. Excessively many hours in the gym with rehab. Being able to start moving my leg, standing on my leg, load my leg gradually and try to increase the tolerance. Stability training to correct bad movement patterns and push the gym with those parts of the body that didn’t scream a big loud ”NO, OUCH”- ”WHAT THE H#LL ARE YOU DOING?”

Luckily, I’ve had my absolutely indescribably talented mental coach, Carl-Magnus Helin. He has fed me with positive pictures and also a little bit necessary about “You might consider listening to your body now”. He has gone through the same thing and I trust him very much.

I have also had the best two physiotherapist there is in Stockholm. Since right people is the key to success and since I knew it wasn’t sure how great my body would be I just had to push through and try to do everything right. And I’m so happy I have great people around me and that it ended up this way. I got some magical treatments and I worked my ass off like 4-5 hours a day to try to get in the volume when I didn’t have the chance to get the quality I needed.

This injury has been challenging for me and the people around me. It’s hard in a world where everything is controlled by rules, routines and traditions. Many people think they know what’s best for me and there are many experts in this world. All these unique experts seem to know what to do and somewhere I have to choose to trust someone. This has been somewhat of a challenge, especially for me since I also have a lot of questions.

When the sweat is drying up and my body is getting colder I dream away a bit…my body is getting more prepared. Because it knows that skiing is getting closer and closer day by day. And that is the key. Taking it day by day!

Bib bib bib…The clock is ticking down and I’m preparing for my showtime… My heart is beating hard inside my chest. My eyes can only see the first gate. My ears are sensitive to catch the sudden sounds. My feelings are uncontrollable. Joy, expectation, nervousness and a lot of concentration. My focus ability is on top. And I feel so strong. I ski like a strong man, in an elegant woman’s body. I’m tough and go for it every single turn. I move forward, I´m active and when there is a difficulty I know in the deep of my bones that I can if I’m just stepping forwards and just push a bit harder. I know I can do it. And I do it. I cross the finish line with a smile.